Setting Deadlines
Tonight, I am frustrated.I'm so frustrated I'm even struggling to start this blog entry.
Ugh.
Ok, I deal with deadlines all day, right? It's not like I can leave my work for the next day (black holes don't really go over well)! But for some reason when it comes to ME, I feel like I cannot get my shit together.
A pretty big milestone is sneaking up on me in the next few months. There are plenty of things I thought I would have already done by now. I'm not even close.
Why is it easy to continue working at a place with a daily deadline yet have no problems blowing past my self-imposed due dates?
Are my goals too lofty? Is my drive zapped? Am I really just a big slacker trapped behind a go-getter facade?
Does any of this matter?
Is my worst prediction for 30 about to come true?
Do I work too hard? Am I not working hard enough?
How am I going to get everything I want to do done?!?!?!
Or, is this what it's all about? Having more goals than time vs. having more time than goals? Which is better?
More questions than answers tonight, my friends. Stay tuned.
posted by Allison @ 8:08 PM
1 Comments:
Alli!
In some ways, I think I may not be the best person to respond to this because I do deal with my own frustrations and struggles, as you well know. But then, I think, who doesn't?
We set goals for ourselves to give us something to shoot for, something to strive for, as that is a natural human instinct. But along the way to those goals, we are forced to make adjustments -- because we find something we desire more than those goals. Certainly, if you had NOT spent the past 5 years of your life in a relationship, you may have come closer or even acheived many of the goals you set for yourself. However, being cared for, and caring for someone, came to outweigh those goals. Which is perfectly natural and okay :-)because that brings joy to your life.
To answer your questions: self-imposed deadlines are the hardest ones to achieve, for there is no tangible consequence in most cases. You & I probably are similar in that I suck at accomplishing long term goals. Instead of taking a straight line toward a goal, I take a meandering route, around a park, through a tunnel, maybe over a hill, then back around to the park again... you get the idea. I never wrote a paper in my life that I didn't write the night before it was due. It's the only time I could focus -- knowing I have only a short time to get the job done. However... most of your goals, most anyone's goals, are long term.
Are your goals too lofty? Of course not. You should always set goals that you need to work hard for to achieve. Is your drive zapped? From what I can tell, absolutely not! It's likely that you're just "in a rut," a life-crevasse that makes it difficult to see those accomplishments just within your grasp -- or the path you need to take to reach them. That is sooo frustrating! Are you a big slacker? Well, You are self-admitted ADHD (or is it ADD?) which means you probably enjoy starting projects but struggle to complete them. Maybe you need more encouragement or support to attack those projects until they come to fruition? I promise if you seek out that support, you will find more of it than you ever expected. Or maybe you just need to take it one thing at a time. Although, I know focusing efforts can be a struggle unto itself.
Does any of this matter? Yes it does -- and no it doesn't.
The hardest thing I ever learned how to do was live life one... day... at... a... time. Sometimes in this life, you have switch your focus from long term achievements to one where you take each day as it comes. I promise you, Alli, You WILL reach a point in this life where you can focus on long term goals -- and you will begin accomplishing them. But being able to shift into that one-day-at-a-time mode is crucial to establish balance, and begin the work laying a foundation that will allow you to work toward those long term goals.
I know you work hard enough -- and at our place, almost everybody works too hard. That's why this business is so tough. Lots of work -- for generally, little reward. And all of it, on deadline!
As for the goals vs time debate: Maybe you need to re-determine the goals within reach at this stage of your YOUNG life. Are they written down? Maybe it would be good to reset some of your acheivement dates. Then, go stare into your own eyes in the mirror for a few minutes. See whats deep down inside. A heart-to-heart with yourself. Determine what's important to Allison at this stage of her life, at this moment. Because I promise you, it's changed from the things Allison wanted when she was 16, 21, or even 25 years old... So of all of your questions, that's one worth exploring sooner rather than later: What does the Allison of this exact moment desire for her life? Again, this is easier said then done, as I struggle to answer that question for myself.
As for your worst prediction -- I can't speak of what that might be -- but please, my dear, keep it in perspective! You have your health, a family that loves you, a great career opportunity here in Las Vegas and... and... you are the creator of nerd notes!
I hope that helps a little. See you soon :-)
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